


Together, We'll Rule The World

by littlebluetrashcan



Series: Natashalie and Anthony [3]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Natasha & Tony Want To Be Supervillains, Natasha Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Does What He Wants, Tony Stark Has Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-13
Updated: 2015-04-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 16:48:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3736351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlebluetrashcan/pseuds/littlebluetrashcan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Iron Bitch?" Clint snorts. "What the Hell?"</p>
<p>"My supervillain name." Says Tony brightly. "Nat and I are going to take over the world. Whoops."</p>
<p>"A supervillain by the name of Iron Bitch?" This time, it's Cap who intervenes, wearily. "That's even worse than Doctor Doom."</p>
<p>OR: The one where Tony wonders if he should take the path to becoming an evil mastermind by shaving his head and buying a cat. Thor is less than accepting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Together, We'll Rule The World

**Author's Note:**

> Whelp. This is a little more light-hearted than the rest in this series.

Sometimes, Tony wonders what it would have been like if the Avengers had fought him instead of Loki. Perhaps they would have, even, if he hadn't been through Afghanistan. Maybe Iron Man would have been a villain (in which case, Tony thinks he might have called it 'Iron Bitch' because,  _YOLO_ ), and the 'end of New York' would have been more 'the beginning of Tony Stark's reign'. Loki, unfortunately for him, had gone about it all wrong,

Tony likes to express his theories sometimes.

He tells Natasha, because she often listens to his crazy theories and doesn't judge (even if she does like to laugh at the hilarity of it). This time, however, she looks him dead in the eyes and shrugs. Her brown eyes bore into his own, and she strokes her cheek thoughtfully with a pale, perfectly manicured finger. "Sounds legit to me," she says calmly, like he hasn't just told her his supervillain name (and its  _Iron Bitch_ , for Thor's sake). "How about we tag-team it?" She suggests.

"Like,  _the Adventures of IronWidow as they take over the whole motherfucking world?_ " Tony suggests, with interest.

"Something like that," agrees Natasha slowly. "Although I think we'd have to keep the title a little more PG so they'd be willing to publish a comic book in our name, you know?" She smiles wryly at him and casually pours herself a glass of champagne before leaning back against the kitchen bench.

* * *

They're in the field when Natasha accidentally refers to him as Iron Bitch over the coms. She's not quite sure what she was thinking, but knows that it's going to come back to bite her from years to come.

_"_ _There are fifty of them coming towards me,"_ Tony is shrieking, probably sounding a little more distressed than he probably should be, and nobody really takes him seriously because Tony has been seen stressing over a paper-cut, so… Melodrama is so  _obviously_ the man's middle name.

_"_ _I'm sure there are,"_ snaps Clint, in a tone that suggests he's rolling his eyes. They all hear the familiar  _shiink_ of one of his arrows being released, and the ugly squelch that they have all come to recognise as the death of one of the slug-like monsters they're up against today.

It's like any other battle, really. Except, today there's no actual 'bad guy'. Reed Richards just had some lab troubles, and now suddenly the Avengers are being called on to investigate the aftermath. But, whatever. They'd all been getting bored anyway (or, as bored as you can get between Clint and Tony's occasional dance-off), and had welcomed this job with open arms. Thor was now covered in sticky green stuff because he'd surged forwards to give a 'ReedSlug' (as Tony had now dubbed them) a massive hug in thanks, then realised how bad the idea was when he couldn't move properly afterwards. For the inconvenience, Thor had bashed the ReedSlug into oblivion with Mjolnir.

_"_ _No, like, seriously,"_ Tony snaps.  _"Ahh, shit, it's literally got me all up in its shit. This suit is going to be a nightmare to clean. Got that, J? Remind me to program Dummy's fire extinguisher with magical cleaning abilities, alongside planning date-night with Pep… whoa that was close…"_

Natasha snorts loudly with laughter, then spins to avoid a slimy green glob of goo and shoots two bullets right into the (very visible) pink brain which she can see through its head. It's gross, yet fascinating at the same time. The slug ceases to move as the bullets pierce its brain, and collapses into a large puddle of slime. The Black Widow wrinkles her nose in disgust. She taps her ear to activate her com, then says; "you're Iron Bitch. I'm sure you'll think of something."

A pause.

" _Iron Bitch?"_ Clint snorts.  _"What the Hell?"_

_"_ _My supervillain name."_ Says Tony brightly.  _"Nat and I are going to take over the world. Whoops."_

_"_ _A supervillain by the name of Iron Bitch?"_ This time, it's Cap who intervenes, wearily.  _"That's even worse than Doctor Doom."_

_"_ _Nah, see, I'd be a supervillain with_ sass _."_ Tony says, and there's a pause as the sound of lasers erupts from his end, and then he whoops loudly.  _"Take that, ReedSlugs! Damn, I'm good. Oi – so if I'm going to be an evil mastermind, should I shave my head and buy a cat?"_

_"_ _Not at all,"_ Thor butts in.

_"_ _Uh, fine."_ Tony mutters.  _"Well, I'm going to get this over with. Iron Bitch, out."_

He clicks off; not before hearing Clint's loud bark of laughter, however.

* * *

"Will someone  _please_ explain the conversation that I just heard over the coms?" Fury snaps later, at debrief. "Agent Fitz found it  _so extremely hilarious_ , that he broadcasted the  _whole damn thing to the whole of SHIELD._ "

Tony looks at him, dead serious. "He didn't find it  _funny_." He says as Natasha's lips twitch with the ghost of a smile. "He just took it as a threat and thought it was necessary to go ahead and warn everybody about ' _the Adventures of IronWidow as they take over the whole motherfucking world'_. That's going to be a sentence to be feared, one day."

Then, he walks out; hips swaying extravagantly and a kiss blown over his shoulder as he strides out with too much swagger probably to be considered healthy.


End file.
